You might be experiencing grief right now, and not even know it. The level of change that we have experienced in the past 11 months is great - that has been experienced all together. This does not account for the change you have experienced at a personal level. This change produces a sense of loss. Yet for many of us, we can not name easily we have lost something, instead we get caught in the cycle of grief at either anger or denial.
So in short: great change brings about a great sense of loss and loss produces in us great grief. Grief shows up in many ways, it is a natural process when we experience loss. When someone loses a family member to death, we all give them space to grieve and mourn. I often counsel people that they are going to feel “all over the place” because that is what grief does.
We are in grief right now, but many don’t realize they are there. At times, we get into conversations and all we get is surface level anger or denial. The anger is expressed in these terms: Nothing has changed, nor should it change, nor is anything really wrong except we are being lied to. (Cue the X-Files theme song)
I want to first say, you are not alone. There are many out there that feel as if they are in a spiritual wilderness of sorts. The are wandering about, praying, waiting and seeking to find a path out. It is tiresome, lonesome and some days are simply a grind.
But here is what I know about the wilderness and about what is being born now.
Hope is emerging in the wilderness and it is real. I know that there is good and stable soil, full of nutrients so your roots can grow deep. I know that land exists. I know that you can plant your roots near the God’s water source. I know that the tree planted by the water shall not be moved.
Find the water. Find the source of God’s life and love. Seek Him. Ask Him to guide you. Knock on his door. He wants you to find him. If you seek him, he will not hide from you.
Here is the catch: seeking Him moves you through and past the anger and denial that many of us have lived in. Literally we have to cross out of/over it/through it to plant our tree near the streams of living water. If you get stuck and plant your tree near streams of denial, anger, grief unnamed, conspiracy theories, woke-ness, etc., etc., etc…..well there is no life in any of those places.
If you are struggling in your faith and you want stability - seek and find God. Plant your roots there. And there, seasons will come and seasons will go, but your leaves will never wither (see Psalm 1).
If I can help you in any way as reclaim or re(plant) your faith, give me a holler. I will do what I can to help guide you and walk with you to the water.
Strength and courage,