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the state of your heart…

The hardest thing about really seeing and really hearing is when you really have to do something about what you have seen and heard.

– Frederick Buechner


We are a week into the new year, what is the state of your heart?  How can you tell what state or condition of your heart/soul?   I think the quickest test to see is what happens inside of you when nothing else is going on in your life.

The holiday season provides much noise, stimulation and activity.   In the midst of that, we rarely stop and observe the state or condition of our heart/soul.   We don’t have to because we are moving so quickly.  This season is followed by the season of new resolutions.  We push hard to be and act in a new way.  We are consumed with it.  This is not all bad.   It is good to find new rhythms and patterns.  I have picked up few this year thus far and are feeling pretty good about it.

But this week, in the quiet moments I have had to look a bit deeper within.  With no one else to talk to.  No phone to distract me.  No movie to watch.  No party to go to.   It was just me and my thoughts.  Nothing shiny, nothing new.

And as I looked within, I realized a few things:

  1. 2016 was a long year for many reasons for my family.

  2. I am committed to not shrinking back from my call.

  3. I am deeply moved by stories about people that rebelled and resisted in the face of evil when it is has been accepted and normalized.  (Watched Rogue One, Man in a the High Castle, Other Star Wars movies in the last few weeks and I have been listening to the Hamilton Soundtrack)

  4. I am very selfish by nature – not an excuse, a reality that I am seeing and working on.

  5. I like designing, starting and building new things – maintaining them, not so much.  (Again, not proud of this, but is a strength/weakness combination I need to pay more attention to)

Again, no particular order to these statements, just the state of my heart/soul right now.

What is going on in your heart/soul?   What needs attention?  What do you need to do in response to one of the deep  and binding realities within you?

Vigilant in all things,


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